How to attract men with your presence

Imagine you are at a huge work conference cocktail party. You want to meet the rock star CEO of a cool company. She could be key to your next career move or big deal, yet others are swarming around her. What do you do? Chances are you have done this dozens of time and have your own style, approach, and strategy that works pretty well.

Now, let’s switch to your personal life. Do you feel you have a style, approach, and strategy that feels natural when you see that handsome man across the room?

Here, you may feel like a fish out of water. You may feel as though only the most confident, extroverted of personalities are drawing attention to themselves, and that you don’t really stand a chance of getting that handsome man’s attention from across the room. Not to fear! Increasing your presence and allure in social situations is much simpler than it seems, and yes—you can do it with charm and grace just like you do so masterfully in your business life.

Why does it matter?

Even though everything is digital today, we know that face-to-face is really where the real big business takes place. This is where the huge deals, important relationships and career connections get made in the business world. If you want to be in the mix, you need to show up.

Same goes for the dating world. Even with hundreds of online apps and dating sites, your social situations are still one of the best places to meet quality single men. Why? Just like in business, you get the chance to build a real connection—and chemistry—face-to-face. Plus, there’s no chance for him to not turn out as good as his online dating profile, no chance for him to be 30 lbs overweight and 2 inches shorter. And to top it off, you can have a chance to have an actual face-to-face conversation with him if you play your cards right.  

The important thing to realize is that you have to play your cards right before you even say hello. It needs to start from the moment you first take notice of your man crush.  

All of us constantly assess our surroundings, analyze whether or not new stimuli present a threat, are neutral, or are friendly. Sending “friendly” signals to men of interest is key to ensuring you have a conversation, and maybe even a date. There are ways to increase and solidify your presence in a social setting, which will allow you to increase your allure and attraction from men.

How do I do it?

First and foremost in any social scene, be there! As my mom said, “be present, be pleasant.” Make sure you are not distracted by your phone, your thoughts, or your own insecurities. Put a smile on your face, a real smile.

Speaking of smiles, subconsciously people can tell if you have a fake smile or a real smile due to wrinkles forming by your eyes (you know those crow’s feet) and the upturning of the corners of your mouth. You might say, “Hell no! I’ve spent a fortune on Botox to get rid of these crinkles, and you’re telling me to smile big so that I look older than every other women in the crowd?”... YES! You need to do it!  

It is proven that men are attracted to genuine smiles. In front of a mirror, practice thinking of something that makes you blissfully happy and then smiling so you can pull out that amazing smile whenever you need to.  

Smiling and being off your phone may seem inconsequential, but they are of the utmost importance. If you’re on your phone, or have a scowl on your face, it sends dreaded “foe” signals to other people, including that hot man!  

Make sure you sit up and stand up straight—you know this matters for business -- your good posture is just sexy too! Studies show that we expand our body when we are confident. Also, there has been countless studies that have found that people are attracted to confident looking individuals.  

Don’t underestimate meeting women too. Meeting other women can be just as important as meeting men… you never know who they know! As you know in business, your network and connections are key to new opportunities.

Now, when you are trying to attract the attention of a man, casually glance at him, but don’t hold your gaze for too long. Tilt your head, raise your eyebrows (an eyebrow raise lasting fractions of a second) and, SMILING, are all ways to send friendly vibes his way.

If he is returning the same kind of signals, then he is most likely interested and will approach you. If you follow all of this, don’t be afraid to approach him! Your presence is where it should be at this point, so go for it! People can sense someone who has presence from afar, and they are attracted to it like a magnet.  

Your Key Take-Away

It doesn’t take a big personality or movie star looks to get male attention. Eyes will drift toward you just based upon the subtle movements, the confident body-language you have, movements that you probably didn’t even notice before. Increasing your presence is one of the best ways to start attracting more quality single men—and these strategies will also help you in your business life too!   

Now, tell us what you think. Have you noticed when your “presence” is on, how it attracts everyone? What strategies work best for you?