Are you the entrepreneur of your love life?
You are a professional business woman ✅
You apply strategy and a plan to your career - ✅
You are excited to meet your Mr. Right ✅
You have a strategy and plan for your love life - X
For a moment, reflect on your career. Remember back to when you first started your career and the roles you’ve had since. Think back to your last career change and how you approached it.
You’ve achieved a lot in your professional life. You’ve followed business strategies, principles, and knowledge to navigate many challenges and opportunities. You have been entrepreneurial, strategic, and savvy. You didn’t just wing it and hope for the best.
Newsflash! Your love life is no exception. Ask yourself -- are you the entrepreneur / the creator of your love life? Or are you hoping, waiting or even doubting great things will happen someday? Are you still fantasizing about your prince coming to get you like in a fairytale? Or are you completely bitter about your last relationship and are taking a semi-permanent break from men?
Now imagine if you were running your love life like an entrepreneur.
Visualize how it might be different.
Your mindset is critical to succeeding in business -- AND in love.
Let’s start with one key mindset of successful entrepreneurs - Taking 100% responsibility. This is taking responsibility for you and what is happening to you. When we apply this principle to your career, it makes perfect sense. You know that you have to take responsibility to be successful. You can’t play the blame game when your product doesn’t sell like you hoped or you don’t get the promotion you were gunning for. You can’t play a victim to a defect that gets discovered late in the launch of your new product. The only way to move forward is with 100% responsibility.
Now, let’s apply 100% responsibility to your love life. You may start to feel a bit itchy or uncomfortable with this idea. After all, you weren’t the one that had the affair. You weren’t the one that wanted the divorce. You weren’t the one that stopped showing appreciation. The reasons could go on and on.
Yet you are and always will be 100% responsible for your life. Yes, it’s important to reflect on your past to understand what’s happened and why to prevent it from happening again. Yet no matter what, you are 100% responsible for what is happening now. If you don’t like it, you need to change it.
As a CEO, many times I had to fall on the sword and say my ideas of product direction, marketing campaigns, and strategy didn't work, but some of my biggest failures led me to huge breakthroughs. I have learned in business to claim responsibility as fast as possible, and accept it and then change the outcome in my mind and make note of the positives. I look at a failed product as an opportunity to check it off the list and find a new spin on it based on understanding customer/client needs. Marketing campaigns that do not provide growth opportunities become an opportunity to look at other, new ways that would. Strategy can always be tweaked to get even better results. It has taken me years to learn the skill of leveraging failures into successes.
Take responsibility and pivot.
With my personal life, especially concerning my failed marriage, it was so easy to always say and think. My ex-husband was this, or he was that or he wasn’t that, and for a short time it does feel good to be the victim. Who doesn't like to blame someone else to avoid the pain of realizing you might have had something to do with it? When it is a divorce and affects kids, family, and friends, and hurts so many people, no one wants to put themselves in a position of being the bad guy.
I never would have tied the benefits of stepping up and acknowledging my own failures in my marriage without the help of a guy I dated after I got separated. Over dinner he asked me, “How did you contribute to your failed marriage?” It really took me by surprise, and as I was opening my mouth to answer my usual reply, he stopped me and said “A marriage fails because of 2 people and both are at fault. It doesn’t matter if a woman cheats, a man cheats, the wife and husband lose interest, they both contributed to the outcome by actions that came long before the words, ‘I want a divorce.’” OK, painful, but a lot of times the raw truth is going to hurt, and as it goes, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.
Yes, the cards you are dealt are not always good ones. It’s not fun when things go sideways. The important aspect to consider is -- are you playing them to your advantage by trading them in for better ones, are you complaining, or hoping the cards just magically get better?
Take complete responsibility for your life.
Don’t blame or be the victim to your life. You are exactly where you are now and you’ve earned every bit of it. This is the good news -- those things that aren’t making you happy are simply a signal to change them. Don’t accept them as-is or permanent, or expect them to change without your focused effort.
You have control. You are in control of every step and action you take. You always have the choice to decide how to react.
Entrepreneurs are 100% responsible for everything that happens. Are you living your love life like an entrepreneur?
I invite you to step into our community to share your thoughts.